Killer SMS Christmas Greetings

Killer SMS Christmas Greetings

Ah! It’s Christmastide! Time for festivity, celebrations, gifts, and killer SMS Christmas greetings! Bless that great country Finland for starting the remarkable short message service in 1993! Bless the global mobile phone user community for their exceptional, devoted, and path-breaking gr8 textual vocabulary so that the lovesick can por da luv 2 him or her! And of course, thank Jesus of Nazareth for giving us the day on which butterflies in the stomach flutter, carols are sung with religious joy, and family reunions bring back memories to cherish for life!

Since the last several years what makes my heart drenched with happiness the most, besides the gifts and the reunions, are the unabated floods of the unique SMSs that start trickling from the 1st day of December to ultimately drown me by the 25th. Text, multimedia, and voice SMSs all together make such a beautiful symphony that it surpasses Beethoven’s symphony no.9. The pleasure that I derive from reading Shakespeare’s Hamlet saying, “To be or not to be,” is mild compared to the pleasure that I gain from reading the SMS “2b or nt 2b”. Disapprovals are considered blatant when you laugh out loud in anybody’s face, which can be subtle in text as “lol”. PUAs (pick up artists) are popular to use opening lines in the form of SMS greetings for their first move to judge the prospect of facing a charge of sexual harassment before they advance further. Generally, cloaked SMSs are known as killer SMSs. They are invariably double entendres with a sexual connotation or a risqué involved. The first meaning is innocent but the second meaning is not that decent and is exactly what the sender of the SMS actually means. For example, “The Lord sacrificed his life for the love of us. Let us remember this and sacrifice our lives for the loves of each other. Merry Christmas.” This is a purely decent SMS when given to one’s family, but the meaning drastically changes if given to someone with an intention of an affair.

Killer SMSs exhibit the most frequency during Christmas. Perhaps due to general bonhomie during this time, the human body pumps higher levels of adrenaline and creative juices mingle with the cerebrospinal fluid in the central nervous system, making persons highly imaginative, highly romantic, and highly social. Killer SMS Christmas greetings are double meaning messages with the sole purpose of killing at point blank range under the mask of sociability and amicability. “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. Thy word is Love. May your Love light my path now and forever! Happy Christmas.” or “He that loveth not, knoweth not God; for God is love. Therefore, let us love. Merry X-mas.” or “There is a time and a place for everything under the sun. The time is Christmas and the place is in your heart. Happy Christmas!” Such killer SMSs are known to break or make many relationships.

However, if two or more events combine then they become much more potent and may connote meanings at many different levels. They are of all kinds, political, medical, psychological, etc. For example, “The snow is white, Santa’s beard is white, and the White House is white. Rest all is colored in the colors of God. Merry Christmas.” Here the second meaning is obviously political and may not go well with certain audiences, but then that is the sole purpose of sending such political double entendre killer SMS Christmas greetings. Again, they may be of the medical kind. For example, “The human brain has a left lobe and a right lobe. My left is not functioning right and there is nothing left in my right. That’s why I think about you from my heart. Hearty Christmas!” An example of a psychological kind would be, “Freud’s id, ego, and superego seem to be based wholly on sex. Let us meet and discuss why Freud seemed so obsessed with sex. Happy XXX-mas!” Thus, we find that killer SMS Christmas greetings say something else and mean something else. They are of all types, shades, hues and colors.

However, I personally find the most pleasurable are the ones that say and mean the same thing and kill in a positive way. For example, “Hey mom! I am coming home with Steve, Richard and Susan! Merry Christmas!- Rebecca.” When mom gets this SMS from her daughter Rebecca who is coming for a family reunion along with her husband Steve and children Richard and Susan, she is so overwhelmed with happiness that she has to put her hand on her chest to steady the fast heartbeats. Such positive killer SMS Christmas greetings are perennial, favorites, and classics.

Merry Christmas.

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